I woke up around 4AM yesterday morning and channel-surfed over to CNN Headline News. At which point I caught the tail-end report of a guy running through a list of "Amazing Sports Injuries".
They all applied to professional sports players from the NFL, Major League Baseball, NHL, NBA, and so on.
In an attempt to share this very funny list with you here, I did a Google search, but failed to find the list he had mentioned.
I did manage to find a ton of hilarious sports injuries from other lists, though!
Check 'em out...
My favorites...
- Sammy Sosa sneezed twice while bending over in the Cubs' clubhouse, sending his back into spasms and putting himself out of the lineup.
- Marty Cordova couldn't play because he fell asleep in a tanning bed and burned his face too badly.
- Clarence "Climax" Blethen, a 30-year-old Red Sox rookie, thought he looked older and meaner if he took out his false teeth when he pitched and kept them in his hip pocket. Only he forgot to put them back in his mouth, and when he slid into second base to break up a double play, he bit himself in the butt!
- Denny McLain went to bed in perfect health and woke up with four dislocated toes.
- Glenallen Hill, an outfielder and arachnophobic, had a nightmare about spiders while sleeping on the couch. In his attempt to get away from the "big bad spider", he crash-landed onto a glass table, leaving his body littered with shards of glass.
- Adam Eaton, Texas Rangers pitcher, was trying to remove that annoying security tape on a DVD with a paring knife and wound up stabbing himself in the stomach.
- Chris Hanson took a swing with an axe at a chunk of wood. He missed and drove the axe deep into this left leg. He was rushed to the ER and placed on injured reserve for the rest of the season. Amazingly, Hanson is still the Jags punter to this day.
- Bret Barberie was making nachos with all the fixins, including chili peppers and hot sauce, but he neglected to wash his hands after touching the spicy ingredients. When he went to put in his contact lenses, he felt a severe burning sensation. He missed the next game.
The Best Collections of Funny Sports Injuries:
Baseball's Freak Injuries
Strange & Unusual Football (as in: Soccer) Injuries
What's The Most Embarrassing Sports Injury?
Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Injuries
10 Embarrassing Sports Injuries Part II
Listen to Bud Light's Real Men of Genius "Mr. Athletic Groin Protector Inventor":
What I Learned Today:
It sure pays to wake up early! If I hadn't, I wouldn't have heard about pitcher Joel Zumaya being sidelined for three games of the American League Championship Series after a wrist injury he obtained from playing too much "Guitar Hero" (...it's a PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs).And, in another report, this story about an amazing football hurdler:
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