Today, the last Friday in July, is National Talk In Elevators Day.
In honor of that occasion, here is some elevator etiquette — some funny things to do on an elevator.
Try one of these… if you dare!
When there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
Push a button, pretend it gave you a shock. Smile and go back for more.
Ask the others in the elevator which floor they’re going to, but push the wrong buttons.
Call the Psychic Hotline and ask them if they know which floor you’re on.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
Hold the doors open as if you’re waiting for a friend, but then let it close. Say to nobody, “Hey, Wally, how’s it been?”
Drop a pen, wait for someone to pick it up and then yell, “That’s mine!”
Put a cardboard box in the corner; when someone gets on ask them if they can hear ticking.
When the doors close, announce, “Don’t worry, they’ll open again soon.”
Enforce a group hug.
Open your purse slightly and say, “Do you have enough air in there?”
Tell one of the other passengers that you’re sorry, but you’re going to have to let him go.
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral”.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now… motion sickness!”
Say, “Ding!” at each floor.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter “gotta go, gotta go” then sigh and say “oops!”
Sing along with the Muzak.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut UP!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask “is that your beeper?”
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “Hide it. quick!” then whistle innocently.