Office Humor: Funny Things To Try At Work

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES:
1. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
2. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
5.To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. (Or, give the casino dealer's hand signal for "I'm out.")

Blackjack dealers clap their hands to prove innocence. They clap (clear) their hands to prove they are not pilfering chips.

--Source

6. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
7. Make a face like somebody beside you farted.
8. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
9. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
10. No matter what anyone asks you, reply, "Okay."

THREE-POINT OFFICE DARES:
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Grow mold in your coffee cup.
6. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
7. Don't use any punctuation. Or, use, too...much; punctuation!
8. Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
9. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
10. When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my phone is ringing" and leave.
11. Hang a 2-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
12. At sensitive moments, blow your nose raucously. Apologize for your sinus condition.
13. Wear a disposable paper face mask. Tell the group: “Hey, you don't want to catch what I've got!”
14. Bring a noisy electric pencil sharpener to the meeting. Sharpen your pencil every few minutes.
15. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

FIVE POINT OFFICE DARES:
1. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 5 times.
3. Take donuts to the morning meeting, and poke your finger into each one "testing for freshness".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the National Anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Check out these good intentions gone bad... people trying to sing the Star-Spangled Banner.

7. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
8. Put those hole-reinforcing circles on the center of your eyeglasses.
9. In a colleague's Day Planner, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights." (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12. Come to work in Army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
16. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
17. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
18. Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
19. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
20. Rubberneck at the notes of the person next to you. Copy them word for word. Subvocalize as you do. Tell them that they “understand these things better than you do.”

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